Soon we leave for Vietnam, Cambodia and China.  Two weeks of serious travel.  I’ve checked the inventory, 11 and 1/2 socks, 9 undershorts, 12 undershirts…doesn’t look good for 14 days.  Shoes, 7 pair, that should work, Pants? Three…hmmm.  This picture is not looking good except for the shoes.

Problem:  I hate packing.  I hate packing for a 7 day trip, 14 days!…excruciating! I can’t go for 1 night without at least taking a carry-on suitcase.  I mean, I need my stuff.

Master Plan:  Pack nothing.  I’ll get there and say they lost my luggage.  Yes, that’s it!  Then I can go shopping, which is a lot more fun than packing.  You need my luggage receipt?  Really?  Um, I lost it?  You say you have video of me checking in…No luggage?  I…um…may I use the restroom? Please?  Buh Bye…I’d be on wanted posters, TV, it would be glorious!

In the Martin Lawrence movie, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, you see them traveling in a small white Jetta with no less than 12 suitcases strapped on top.  It’s hilarious!  Except… that would be me.  I pack everything and I have a checklist just to make sure that I do.  93 degrees in Vietnam?, of course I’m taking my coat, it could get cold at night.  My Pillow, well that’s a no-brainer, yes…check.  For a 14 day trip, I’m going to need one of those big white “Cubes” you see blocking people’s driveway when they’re getting ready to move.  Instead,  I get a 30″ suitcase and a 20″ carry-on suitcase AND a 44 lb and 17 lb weight limit, respectively (thanks a lot Cambodia).  It’s a stare-off, this can’t possibly work, as I’m thinking to myself,  the 30″ case should be able to hold all the shoes, right?

I may need an intervention before this is over…