Soon we leave for Vietnam, Cambodia and China. Two weeks of serious travel. I’ve checked the inventory, 11 and 1/2 socks, 9 undershorts, 12 undershirts…doesn’t look good for 14 days. Shoes, 7 pair, that should work, Pants? Three…hmmm. This picture is not looking good except for the shoes.
Problem: I hate packing. I hate packing for a 7 day trip, 14 days!…excruciating! I can’t go for 1 night without at least taking a carry-on suitcase. I mean, I need my stuff.
Master Plan: Pack nothing. I’ll get there and say they lost my luggage. Yes, that’s it! Then I can go shopping, which is a lot more fun than packing. You need my luggage receipt? Really? Um, I lost it? You say you have video of me checking in…No luggage? I…um…may I use the restroom? Please? Buh Bye…I’d be on wanted posters, TV, it would be glorious!
In the Martin Lawrence movie, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, you see them traveling in a small white Jetta with no less than 12 suitcases strapped on top. It’s hilarious! Except… that would be me. I pack everything and I have a checklist just to make sure that I do. 93 degrees in Vietnam?, of course I’m taking my coat, it could get cold at night. My Pillow, well that’s a no-brainer, yes…check. For a 14 day trip, I’m going to need one of those big white “Cubes” you see blocking people’s driveway when they’re getting ready to move. Instead, I get a 30″ suitcase and a 20″ carry-on suitcase AND a 44 lb and 17 lb weight limit, respectively (thanks a lot Cambodia). It’s a stare-off, this can’t possibly work, as I’m thinking to myself, the 30″ case should be able to hold all the shoes, right?
I may need an intervention before this is over…